1st day of CNY!!!
VERY SIEN...

well i will start with that day i went Tapah to fetch my sis go home, who is in NS...there is a traffic jam then we reach Slim River..cause a lot of ppl balik kampung..then after 1 hour then we reach the camp..well that is not that bad la..the place covered by jungle..got canteen, got a small taman...u can see something like flying fox but consider small flying fox la..then the place they sleep and all those lo..actually not that bad la...better than or scout camping lo...got TV somemore!!hhaha...

when we get there then the pelatih give us this..































when we reach there then i saw Siew Chien, who is Siew Ting's sis la...her look is more 'chan' then the last time i saw her..then that time i imagine how my sis will be look like..then she come to us then i ask where is my sis then she said my sis went toilet..swt...after that my sis meet us...

boring la at home!!! i want ang pau...
happy CNY again..

i don't know wat i want to write..

since 3 days ago..i realized that i always like to day-dreaming..stare outside..think blankly...i dont know why..kinda relax for me..and 2days ago..i start to sleep in class- i think that is round 10 minutes gua(most but not all is Jonathon wake me up one..he go and kacao Krys then some more need to kacao me sleep some more!!)..za dou..
cause i think i sleep very late...or else i reading novel in the class..haha..nothing to do..boring...

and there is damn alot of effing homework waiting for me!! some more got the moral thing..haizz...Chinese New Year la, come on mann...i wander is that teacher pakat together then give a lot of homework together..the want to see us suffer if we didnt do there work!! wth mann...

tomorrow...i am going to Perak...my dad ask me to accompany him to fetch my 2nd sis in NS..wow..i gonna see her tomorrow...i miss her sooo much mann..and then tomorrow suppose to go sunway with Sum they all want..but that time i want to ask my mum for green light that time she suddenly pissed off because my eldest sis wanna go out with her friend tonight and then she is not helping her to clean the house and bla bla bla....and then when we having dinner together that time, my dad ask my mom wanna fetch me to her salon to help her or not, cause he want me to teman him ma...so..i know the answer when i trying to ask the green light to go to sunway - NO..U GOTTA HELP ME DO THIS DO THAT...haizz...CNY??!!

and yesterday we saw Nicholas..he lost his figure!! i like when he look thin...and we plan to visit some friends in Subang when CNY..he probably will go with my sis lo..and i think he will stay over night at my house..my dad said can but must go through my 2nd sis 1st..

wat else i wanna say leh...nothing liao leh...
oh yeah...HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE...grab the ang pau!!!!

ok..this is for today one...today is counted the happiest day and also a worse day i ever had...

i had been very happy and hyper before recess...i know why...and i know why am i sooo happy...i have a big big smile on my face and it had be soo long that i have a smile like that - that is truly from my heart and come to my face with sending information to my brain that 'i can't smile like that'..but i just cant stop it...

just a simple touch, smile and a sentence not more than 10 words and that can make me smile the whole day and being happy from my bottom of my heart..i know i am being weird and acting like i am insane or something,but just i cant control myself...

i just cant figure it out what is it come from..i recall the time i had a same big smile on my face..that time chi kuan is the 1st see me smile like that when i am day dreaming in the class..and that time the big smile on my face is when the miracle happen...

and when it comes to recess...i still had my big smile on my face when i am still thinking of wat happen this morning...we all, as usual..sit on the place we use to be..with a bunch of friends...then when i were eating, kelly just pop out and stand at the opposite side of the table where i siting..and she said..'yuet may, wat happen to u?? u look so different today..'..i know wat exactly wat she is talking bout..and i can feel the changes from my inside and out...'where got??' i lied..and chi kuan is staring at me and i think she got a clue wat is actually happening to me, same goes to kelly..

when kelly speak like that means that she is really really curious about wat am i doing today..she really can see through me..see me wat's wrong with me, wat so different from the usual me..i am really happy that i had a friend like her..haha...

then i try to find an answer why i react like that today?? but i didnt got a word for the answer..and i cant find the logic why i am doing it..actually nothing happen actually..

when i try to think deeper...and i found it, i am going backward again!!! and going to the same mistake...that is a big mistake!!! i really need to try had to not go near to the mistake or even think about it anymore...i must!!! i cant stand if the mistake happen on me again..and the consequence is more than i imagine...NO...STOP...get it out sight and out of mind..good idea huh??

p/s..this post should be yesterday one..the internet damn slow..so cant publish..


today...nothing happen...same as usual la...school school school and school...
homework becomes the pain in the my neck!! very lucky today go not much home work..haha...

i dont know wat to write ad..ya..today i went back with Siew Teng(i not sure her name spell like that..maybe u should ask Sum Sum..LOL..joking joking)..and she said she is gonna go back with me..i tot she ask me to tumpang her car..then after school ends then she told me she is going home with me BY BUS...oh god...haha...we got into rapidKL..

that is super damn effing hot at the last row of the bus, because there are no other sit for us ad..so we talk talk talk talk then i get down from the bus..then she stop at the station after i get down...she ask her mom to fetch her in the bus stop..and she dont even bring her phone along! wth??!! then she said 'got public phone ma'..then i sigh..'wat if there dont have public phone,huh??'i said..she answer 'then i ma walk back home lo..' maybe u guys dont know how far between the station and her house..but i tell u that is damn effing far!! walk back home somemore..siao...

wish her mom come and pick her up la..if no, then i will be responsible if she goes missing for something...dang...and she ask me to tumpang her car on the Thursday again..i can imagine waiyan's face now if she read this..haha...i still will tumpang her car anyway..safe money and time..no need to wait for bus somemore..haha...sorry waiyan..if that is u,u will also surely do the same as me rite?? haha

and yesterday..i watch one movie..'IF ONLY'..that movie really cry your eye out mann...damn romantic and that is so sad and sweet too...if u watch before then u might agree with me rite?? that is a nice movie!!!! and that movie is like 5 years ago one..hahah....

self- conscious is not a good thing!!!haha..everyone know i think..

believe or not?? i set myself up and i want to see wat's the consequence ..at the end..nothing happen...i did feel bad but not so bad that i expected..but still bad for me...

when i am in the trap that i set for myself..i hope that i dare to do that(u will not know wat is that)...when i am sitting there and stare at him, a lot of things are running in to my mind...a lot of 'if' and some consequence i will get if i did it...alot of if....

2 days ago..i heard the song 'OVER YOU' then i realized wat am i doing..haiz...i really getting crazy..that is a bad sign when u start to sit with Krystle in the class..remind me about her pass and her EDDIE..and that will remind every stupid things i ever done in my life..haha....but i good to sit with Krys sometime..haha....

the realization just came in the right time..remind me wat am i doing..just like remind me dont bang the wall when i am running - a consequence that i can't imagine..

well...i am really crapping..cause long time didnt update my blog..so start to crap liao...haha...i am SO FREAKING BORING in class..and i HAVE ALOT OF HOMEWORK to do..haizz.....'get use to it' i said to myself...

GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!! NOW!!!

CAN I HAVE SOME TIME FOR MY OWN?? 3 HOURS??enough for me...


get to the 1st thing i said just now...GET OUT OF MY LIFE!! why are u so annoying?? u did realized that, i know..but i am just saying out loud...if u just appear the way i go or where i can see u again, i think i am not able to control myself to fall for u...i know u are wrong person for me..but dont come out and speak to me or even touch me..NO...god are trying to make me feel that there are still something left between us...NO...nothing left..

you just appear like i can't predict...i dont want that to happen to me again..that took me more time than i expect to heal..u are like a scar that i dont dare to look at..that took me lot of time to put it out of mind and out of sight..but u just come out like that, and so many time.. make me feel like i am going back to my past, doing it the something again..

you just treat every people the same include me, i know that...but i dont.. i dont know why..i cant find the answer..the scent of ur shirt is so unfamiliar to me now...i hope that scent will last longer than i expect, keep it unfamiliar...
the conclusion is, please stay away from me, my very special friend(always will, always have)...

i screw everything up!!dang..i ruin my life!!!

well..that is not that bad but i think i am the persona in the poem called 'road not taken'...i took the 2nd road that non of my family choose the road..that is bad..i tot tat will be good for me, wat if that is not good for me at the end?? that is alot of obstacle and consequences after making the decision...i know that vey well then the others..there are no way back and the only think i can do is move forward and dont regret wat i done..

after the 1st day of school..i feel that alot of things suddently came to my mind..and i felt the pressure in it..that is so much more that i expected...i think i just fell a little bit not use to it..and i think i will work it out soon..i dont know i can stand that until when i hope that will last until i finish school....

i know something right about wat the moral teacher said...somebody need to work much harder than the others so they can achieve what some people can easily get... and i think i am the one who need to work harder than the others..

in the conclusion..i am completely lost myself now..but i hope in the long run i wont be doing it again..

well...school reopen tomorrow..
should i be happy or sad huh??
happy because i can able to see my friends again...
sad because we are not the same class anymore..

especially to sum sum, junyan,kelly and chikuan they all..we use to record a video i the moral class.. that is soo much fun..and they like to see wat is in my beg(for junyan and sum la..)and then make fun of those thing in my beg..like umbrella(open it and close it)haha...

we all are soo good friends since form 2 i think..and junyan promise me he will go science with me together but i dont know tomorrow will be how...haizzz....
happy because i wont be so bored at home...and wat else?? haizzz.....

i dont want to go to school!!!but i have to..that wont be that bad..that is wat i told sum sum just now in msn..that wont be so bad...wish me good luck..

i saw this....in the MPH...





























hardcover and it cost RM345...god..it cost a boom mann...
I WANT...bu i am not gonna buy it..(maybe i will buy as my birthday present..wait until July la)dang...

well i am crazy now...leave me alone..