are you really a stupid??
i dont wanna call u like that...but do u have any feeling??

why do you think i am really happy??i laugh??i smile??
no..i am not really happy actually...
that time i am really happy from my bottom of my heart, is that time you said :'you wanna couple?? with me??'

i remember word you said..every respon u give me...

i remember u were so happy when i call u 'sa sa de'..

i remember that time kelly was actualy capture one photo on us when we are hugging...but we delete it..if that didnt deleted..maybe i will really keep it...just for my memory..

i also remember the first kiss you give me is on my left hand and that is in front of the basketball court and in front of my friend..well..i know that is stupid..but i think that is sweet..

i really hate rain after we broke up...
heavy rain and it is around 2 or 3 in the evening..i really hate it..
i dont wanna tell y and i am really tired to say why...

maybe u know the reason...i hope u will tell me the answer why i hate rain..
and i hope that u remember all i said just now...please recall and get the answer...

thanks...

this is the picture that i said wnna show u guys...
wait i think that is long time ago..
watever....

do you ever try the feeling that the person u like was fall in love with another girl??
yes.. i tried it yesterday night…
I don’t know what’s going on..
and I just remember one thing..

I just remember what u told me before we broke up…
you said: ‘your love will last forever'…
and the end it works…
but I am the one who did it and you just fall in love with another girl..
and u don’t think of what is my feeling..
or you not willing wanna know..

hey people..
please don’t tell your gf or bf
bout forever..what I mean is like..
‘ I love u forever’ ‘my love for u will last forever’
don’t ever do that is you are not sure u will get along wit her or him forever..
u will really hurt he or she..
think before u do mann..


and you guys don’t think god is making fool on everyone??
what you hope to happen will not happen….
what you not hope to happen its happen..

for example…
I tot I am the last sis that he had after we broke up..
but then he got another sis who is only form one now…
what da…

and I hope will get back together with him but It will never happen..
you know why??
because good thing will not happen twice…

that I what I feel now..
and I going to cry now..

maybe I need to thanks Gabriel..
he Is the one who really knows wats wrong with me but he just listen and didn’t get any response…
you know why I choose to tell him??
cause it happen the same on himself..hahaha…
sorry and thank you…

For Sleepless Minds

so maybe I was wrong

maybe I can't take the monotone

maybe I'm not strong

maybe I deserve to be alone.


ask yourself the questions

that you know you just can't answer till tomorrow

cuz you're scared of your dreams

try to find the sense in things

you just can't seem to fight away the sorrow

but its not how it seems


try to understand

I'm still mesmerized and mystified with you

but its no simple plan

cuz I don't even know what to feel or do

so I'll ask myself the questions

that I know I just can't ask myself forever

cuz I'll never know

bite my lip and close my eyes


maybe I can ask you why tomorrow

but for nowlet me let goso maybe she was right

afterall you knew it all alongand you never got your fight

maybe you deserve to be alone


ask yourself the questions

that you know you just can't answer till tomorrow

cuz you're scared of your dreams

try to find the sense in things

you just can't seem to fight away the sorrow

but its not how it seemsno


try to understand

I'm still mesmerized and mystified with you

but its no simple plan

cuz I don't even know what to feel or do

so I'll ask myself the questionst

hat I know I just can't ask myself forever

cuz I'll never knowbite my lip and close my eyes

maybe I can ask you why tomorrow

but for now

let me let go


I'll ask myself the questions

that I've asked myself a thousand times today

but I'll never know

I'll bite my lip and close my eyes

in my dreams apologizeand say

please

let me let go.

1000 lies.
I'm expressing myself here; because in this,
no one would really understand unless they're in my position.

I'm not crazy, I'm just very mentally unwell.

I still don't get how things would just turn out this way. Maybe I'm just unlucky or i just suck being a girlfriend. Now I'm scared to love anyone else other than.. than.. really, who? Who am i kidding?

I'll be just fine pretending I'm not.

wishes? dreams? Doesn't really exist to me. I wish, I hope, I dream and I pray; it still doesn't make any difference. I'm weak and vulnerable now. Someone please shoot me to end my misery; I'm destined to be alone in this.

by the way; i know i'm very depressed and all screwed up.

i know what should i do..
and
what i wanna do actually..
don't worry..(i am telling myself)..

sorry people..
something wrong to me...

neway..
i know wat to do la...
my study...don't know la...
thinking bout my future now..worry bout that..
should i go for form 6??
hey..got a long way to go la..wat da..so fast think for that for wat??

something wrong to me...

sorry guys... i am crapping here...
too boring already...forgive me...

it's been almost one year already,
if you understand what i just said.
I still see myself at the same spot where you left me;
how i wish so much just to be back in your arms.

I miss the hugs, the kisses and the late night calls.

but we all know that I'm disillusioning for something like that to happen. How silly am i? Knowing there's no turning back anymore, yet I'm still hoping for something to happen.

crazy much? Yeah, i guess so.

here, listen to "homeless and take a bow" by leona lewis.

Homeless
Waiting here,For you to call me;
For you to tell me,
That every thing's a big mistake.
Waiting here,
In this rainfall;
Feeling so small,
This dream was not suppose to break.

I'm so sorry now;
For the pain I caused you,
Wont you please forgive;
Please.

But you don't love me anymore,
You don't want me anymore.
There's a sign on your door,
No vacancy,
just emptiness.

Without your love,
I'm homeless.
In this cold,
I'm walking aimless.
Feeling helpless,
Without a shelter from the storm.

In my heart,
I miss you so much;
Missing your touch,
And the bed that used to be so warm.

I'm so sorry now,
For the pain I caused you.
Wont you please forgive,
Please.

But you don't love me anymore,
You don't want me anymore.
There's a sign on your door,
No vacancy,
just emptiness.
Without your love,
I'm homeless.

i don't know why...
i know i not surpose to miss you..
and i dont have the right to jealous about you and her...

but i really can't tahan already..
forgive me please..
i know tht is just like the friendster punya feature friend...
she put you..and you put her...
wat da....

i know maybe not purposely wan...
but i like to think something in the bad way..
but i can't control that..
please forgive me...

i really dont like her..another case..
before the troop meeting start...me and her come early..
then you come after wards...
after you playing basketball..u came near me and just say hi..
and then go near her and chat...
i dont really feel comfortable...

i know your treat her like your sis..
but i hope dont go to the same way that we go....
and i really hope that i am your last sis...

please forgive me that i think like that...
i am tryng to forget bout you...
really..i did...

yesterday night i want to cry

it's because I'm still upset;
it's because i can never forget the memories;
it's because it's a nightmare;
it's because it's a heartbreaking moment;

it's because i still love you.